#StuffstudentsSay
7th-Grade Student: We're getting a new piece in band - Poker Face. That makes me think of the South Park version.
Me: I don't know it. And aren't you a little young to know it?? Student: Maybe. I'm going to play the Bluey Theme Song now. Anyone know a good doctor for whiplash? I was sitting in on jazz band rehearsal at one of the religious schools I teach at, and they pulled out Satin Doll:
Students: Satan Doll?? Oh, so we can play a song about demons, but they won't let us play Tequila?! This after just playing a song called Get It On (by Chase), which is about exactly what it sounds like it's about and seems probably less biblical than drinking/saying tequila. But, hey, double standards are fun too! *Student 1 is called out by Student 2 as being more of a book nerd than a movie nerd*
Student 1 [defensively, to me]: Ok, Student 2 and I have known each other since elementary school. During recess we used to play Greek gods and goddesses on the playground... This might be my favorite thing a student has ever said 🤣 *I tell my student that one of my brothers made a duct tape suit and the other a chainmail shirt+head covering [apparently called a coif, per the internet]+gloves*
Student: You seem like the kind of person who would do something like that. Me: 🤨 Student: I could see you being the kind of person who would be really into Renaissance festivals. Between my inability to costume and lack of desire to ever set foot in a Ren Fest without being paid to be there...this student clearly knows me well. *I tell student that a sub at one of the high schools I teach at thought I was a student there*
Student: Well that's probably because you actually have some fashion sense. An 8th-grader saying I have fashion sense might just be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me Me: The first middle school I taught at I accidentally convinced the students I voiced Yoda. Then I was like, "I'm not like 70 years old."
Student: But they wouldn't know it was from the 70's. Me: Well I knew Star Wars was from the 70's when I was like 9. Student: That's because you were 9 in the 70's. I probably was asking for that one... Started back at a school I've taught at before, where my sister just started teaching as well.
Band director [to me]: Did you get a text from your sister talking about how bad any of the students were? Me: Nope? Band Director [to student]: See? You did fine, there's nothing to worry about. Student : She's scary! Can confirm, this student is correct. Me: Pick up your trombone with your hands.
Student: *looks at hands confusedly* Do you mean PawGrabbers? Me: ...pick up your trombone with your PawGrabbers... Student: You mean Swirly-Whirly-Twirly-Fear-Of-Valves instrument? Me: ...... Me: *blank stare* Me: *resigned sigh and eyeroll* Me: Pick up your Swirly-Whirly-Twirly-Fear-Of-Valves instrument with your PawGrabbers. File that away under things I never expected to say in my life and hope to never say again. *student changes one note in multiple places in his composition to make it sound much better*
Student: I am the One Note Wonder! *student changes the note right before another note he had changed, making it sound worse, unbeknownst to him* Student: I am the Two Note Wonder! Me: You should probably go back to just being the One Note Wonder. Student: Hmm, you're probably right, it does have a better ring to it. Me: It's not just the nickname that needs to go back to what it was before. Student: Ooooh. Student [passing by my room]: *singing*
Student [continuing to pass by my room]: I'm annoying! |
Author
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say. Archives
October 2022
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