A student was playing timpani before his lesson, so I told him to stop, because they are not his and are expensive [and apparently being rented from the Minnesota Orchestra]...
Student: How hard can it be to make timpani? It's basically a giant bowl of cereal with a lid on it.
A student didn't fill out his practice record for the week, so I drew a crying face on his practice record. He told me he could draw a better one, so at the end of the lesson he drew one too...
Student: Mine's better because it has a pig nose.
It was also so bad at math that it got a Z-, which is why it was crying...?
Working with a former student today...
Student: Sometimes I play the double-high Bb just because I have nothing better to do with my time.
Me: ...get out of my house.
In the continuing saga/out of control snowball that is one of my middle school bands deciding I promised them all Chick-Fil-A...
Student 1: So when you get us Chick-Fil-A, *Student 2* said he wants beef.
Student 3: And I can't eat anything except steak.
I don't think they understand the concept of Chick-Fil-A...
And I don't think I went more than 4 minutes between 1:20-2:15 without a student coming in and interrupting individual lessons to ask where their Chick-Fil-A was/when I was getting it for them...
One of my students came to a Marah in the Mainsail show a couple summers ago:
Student: You guys are good. But mostly because of the trombone and accordion. Otherwise you're just a normal band.
Me: Hey, thanks. We don't actually have accordion anymore though.
Student: Aw, gg, accordion.
Student: I need to practice more to get it in my memory muscle.
Student: ...I mean, my muscle memory.
My student didn't practice most of the week, so I told him to pretend I wasn't there and practice like he would at home.
*student plays a difficult passage*
Student (muttering to self): I don't know if that was any good. I wish John was here so he could tell me if that was right.
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say.