Me: Make sure you're playing that part correctly.
*student puts on sunglasses*
Student: I'm blocking out all the haters.
I guess I'm a hater now. 😎
Student: Hey, [student's brother], did you know that John believes the Earth is flat?
Student: Do you know what the brim of your hat reminds me of?
Me: No, what?
Student: That you think the Earth is flat.
I have NEVER believed the Earth is flat. 🤔
Student 1: It smells bad in here.
Student 2: That's the smell of coronavirus!
Me: Do you have coronavirus?
5th-grade Student (completely deadpan; as though I was asking a stupid question): Yes.
High school student, saying goodbye: Well...good luck, I guess.
Welcome to teaching in the time of covid19, where conversations with students are all coronavirus, all the time. 😷🤒🤧
Student (after being out sick last week): All I did was sleep.
Me: Sleep...that sounds nice... What's it like?
Student: Sleep is like...heaven.
Working on intervals with a student:
Me: An A to Bb is a half-step. It's like the Jaws theme, if you know it?
*student looks confusedly at me*
*I play/sing the Jaws theme*
Student: Isn't that Baby Shark?
I mean...yeah...but... 😩😢
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say.