Student: I like to play tuba at home because it bothers my mom.
Student: So I might not be able to play as well today.
Me: Why not?
Student: I got superglue on my lips.
Student: Thank you for the sectional today, Mr. Baumgartner.
Me: Sorry it was only 10 minutes.
Student: It was heavenly.
Apparently heaven is tuba sectionals. *shudder*
Student: Mr. Baumgartner, I don’t have any band bucks. Can you please give me some? Help the poor!
Me: The best way to combat nerves for the recital is. . .
8th-Grade Student: Drink some wine before I play?
Me: . . .be as prepared as you can be.
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say.