Student: My trombone basically sounds like an amplified fart.
Me: If your trombone sounds like you're farting, you're either doing something wrong with your trombone or you're doing something wrong with your farts.
*student texts me a video of brass playing Fanfare for the Common Man, then the Earth blows up*
Me: Wh...why did the Earth blow up?
Student: [It] was so loud it created a sonic wave traveling to the center of the earth and disturbing the sentient dolphin people living there and accidentally triggering their nuclear arsenal.
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say.