*student cracks his back during lesson*
Me: I wish my back would do that right now.
Student: You can't crack your back when you lay down all day!
Apparently this is what this student thinks I do all day...
A student was playing Rainbow Connection, from The Muppet Movie, at a dirge-like tempo. I said it should sound happier, because of the movie it was from, then asked if she knew what movie it was.
Student: Yeah, it's the one with Hermit the Crab.
Student: You need to sign the name of the school you graduated from, then sign that you're a doctor. Then you need to give it to the President. Then you need to make a copy while he has it, then give that to Pope Francis. Then you need to sign that you gave me your electric piano. Then you need to give that to the President. Then you need to make a copy of it while the President has it and give that to Pope Francis.
[It just got more convoluted and confusing from there...]
Student (later): Your homework is due tomorrow. And you have to give it to the Pope when he's eating breakfast. You better be really fast!
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say.