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Me: How was Thanksgiving?
Student: It was good. My grandma was there, and she's a really great cook. Not like my sister...she can't even make ramen. She put it in the microwave with no water and a fork in it. There was A LOT of fire in the microwave... One of my beginning students had a problem with his spit valve I sort of fixed last week. Then this week...:
Beginning baritone student: Mr. Baumgartner, do you know what the prizes are at the end of the year for Band Bucks? Will there be an iPad? Me: I don't know; I doubt it. Student: Oh, oh, oh, I got it! This would be way better – will there be [a spit valve]??? In his universe, a spit valve>iPad. Beginning low brass students: Can we call you Mr. Baum?
Me: No. Call me Mr. Baumgartner. Students: Mr. Baumgartner is too long. Can you tell us your first name? Me: No...just call me Mr. Baumgartner for now. Students: Is it Bob? Me: No. Students: Is it Puffington? Me: No...? Students: We're going to call you Puffington Baumgartner. Me: ... So in an effort to find out my first name to make what they had to call me shorter, they ended up with a 6 syllable name instead of 5. Me: Sorry I was late. My only excuse is that my niece was over, and she was crying, so I was telling her music jokes to keep her from crying. It's not a great excuse, but it's all I have.
Student: Well, it was good, up until the music jokes. Student: I like to use big words, because it makes me sound photosynthesis.
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Author
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say. 
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October 2022
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