Beginning band started this week:
*students hear saxes playing on just their mouthpieces down the hall*
Student: That sounds like a horror movie.
*someone walks across roof above us*
Student: I'm scared now
Me: Do you ever listen to jazz?
Student: Yeah, when I play Minecraft, because my mom only lets me play if I listen to jazz at the same time.
This is good parenting right here 👏
*I walk into band room*
Student [not even my student]: Did you get rid of this?! *motions to beard*
Me: I trimmed it, yeah.
Student [somberly]: A moment of silence, please.
RIP beard hairs, I guess
Student: I think I have a mental illness.
Me: Why do you think that?
Student: I like to run.
I'm not sure even therapy will help this one
*I grab something from my case and turn around facing student*
Student: Hold up – did you just put glasses on? You don't normally wear glasses.
Me: ...I've literally worn glasses every single one of your lessons [1-1/2 years]."
It's "Does Stanley have a mustache," but real life
*student sees sock on trombone stand that's probably been there since at least the early 2000's*
Student: Can I take that to the lost and found???
In case anyone's looking for an old, gross, yellowing sock, it's in the lost and found
At a coffee shop, overhearing some college students talking:
Student 1: I like going to bed, I just don't like sleeping. I like laying in bed and scrolling on my phone.
Student 2: I don't like sleeping either. I'd stay awake all night if I could.
Something is seriously wrong with these people. 😱
You may need more sleep when:
Student: Are you ok, John? You look dead inside.
Continuation of the horse girl conversation yesterday with four students (co-starring the student who last week questioned whether I'm of legal drinking age as Student 4):
Student 1: John, you're the only 1 of us 5 who hasn't touched a horse. You are the odd one out.
*Students 2+3 name 2 other things that I'm also the odd one out in*
Student 4: But at least we are all the same because all five of us are still in high school.
Student: John, you look like you used to be really into horses. Kinda like a horse girl, but a guy. A horse guy.
I'm not sure if I should be offended or not, but I've never touched a horse
I have been teaching music across the Twin Cities since 2011. Along with seeing students grow as musicians and people, one of the joys of teaching is the ridiculous things my students say.